I’ve Started So I’ll Finish

Ever begun something then packed it in because it was ridiculous? Not me. I’m like a human dachshund (incredibly stubborn and a little bit cute). I will keep going at all costs. I’ve stood through a Kate Nash gig, finished a useless university degree and had an iPhone 3 for four years. I’ve also drunk an entire cocktail menu because after some early indecision three drinks in, it seemed like a brilliant idea.

So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that once I throw my hat in the ring, I’m all in. And right about now you might be wondering what the fuck I’ve signed up for this time. Lately, I’ve run with zombies, swam through freezing waters, and committed to running through the streets of Liverpool dressed as Santa. Well, it’s even more foolish than all of that, combined.

You see, due to other things going on in my life that I’m not going to bore you with, I’m unable to plan anything more than five months in advance. As someone that is paid to plan for a living, this bunches my shorts in the cruellest way. But once I’m in the five month window, I’m like a Liberal Democrat at election time. I will commit to ANYTHING. So, in an endorphin high and what I thought was a moment of clarity but could actually have been a lack of oxygen to the brain, I registered to run the Paris Marathon.


No really, I did. I am that much of an idiot.

But I’m going to give it a shot. Because, like I said, I’m stubborn. Besides, the French don’t like giving refunds. So, from here until April 6, prepare to hear me alternate between moaning, boasting and begging you all to forget I said I’d do this.

5 thoughts on “I’ve Started So I’ll Finish”

  1. Well I sincerely hope that this is not some kind of bucket list given your limited five month life window.

    If it’s not then I will rejoice every time I read of your preparatory torture. When you are near prepared both physically and mentally for this mammoth personal goal I will enlighten you on the French paradox and the life threatining hazards of this willful destruction of your body. I hope it is the latter that would be far more fun.

    1. Oh relax, I’m not dying. The reason behind my five month window is far less dramatic, but not for public consumption.
      I’m kicking things off this evening with Run In The Dark 10km race. 10km is not really a challenge to me though, so I’m just entering it for fun.

  2. I am convinced that the human body never evolved to run a marathon distance at a steady flat out pace; no hunter/gatherer in the Rift Valley followed an impala at full tilt for three hours. Sprints and long slow jogs is what we are built for.

    Saying that, everyone should have a crack at one just for the fuck of it.

    Every biomechanical and tissue issue you have during training will be due to tight calves. It may feel like a bad back or a pulled hammy but it will have its root in those calves. Fix those quickly and you’ll keep ticking up the distances to the right level.

    Good choice in venue too. You will literally inhale food after you’ve finished so nowhere better to have three great dinners before 10pm and a couple of litres of champagne.

    1. Oh don’t worry, I’m not turning into bony assed nasal plaster wearing head bobbing Paula Radcliffe. Not yet anyway. I have discovered so far that running (okay, jogging) long distances allows me to eat pretty much whatever I like. So, this is working well so far. The marathon itself is going to take me at least 4.5 hours unless I stop for cheese, in which case it could take days.

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